A Guide For Hares
Ideas and webpage stolen from:
The Pikes Peak Hash House Harriers and Harriettes
Of course, with our edits and deepest respect to ZiPpYtC,
Forever on Trail Brother!
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Introduction: Haring is the most
important responsibility that can be entrusted to a hasher.
It takes planning, insight, creativity, and yes, some panaché
to lay an exciting trail and establish the conditions for
a great ON-IN afterward.
This guide is written based on the traditions and the many
hard lessons learned over the past numerous years of hashing.
You might think that the detail contained this guide (4,000+
words) may seem to be a bit overboard (or even anal) for
a group which essentially has no rules, but there's a good
reason for it. Everything contained herein will help you,
the hare, avert the known and avoidable pitfalls associated
with haring. I've seen nearly every one of the things outlined
in this guide go wrong at one time or another, either here
or elsewhere (I've been to some hashing events). Simply
put, no hare should be condemned to repeat the mistakes
of others. It is in this spirit that the Guide For Hares
is written.
Please read carefully before you hare the next
time. In a feeble attempt at organization, this guide is
divided into the following sections.
The Schedule
Planning the Hash
Coordination
Money Matters
Publicity
Planning the Trail
Beer Check
Laying the Trail
Trail Marks
Starting the Hash
The ON-IN
Parting Words
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The Schedule
If you want to hare (and you should) you first need to
coordinate with the Hare Raiser to get on the schedule.
Major Lying Bastard is our current Hare Raiser. He can be
contacted in person at the hash, or by eMail at majorlyingbastard@hotmail.com,
or ask for a mis-management person at the hash.
The schedule is usually filled months in advance, so plan
ahead to get the date you want (such as near your birthday
for all you narcissistic types). You can check the online
schedule to see which dates are available.
A note for virgin (first time) hares: You should have a
veteran co-hare! There's no substitute for experience -
you can learn much from your grizzled old partner.
Planning the Hash
The first thing you should establish is the type of hash.
You have two choices, Dead Hare or Live Hare: One mode of
hashing is the Dead Hare where the entire trail is laid
a few hours before the start of the hash. The Dead Hare
provides the opportunity for people of all athletic abilities
to lay trail and also allows time to construct a more elaborate
system of checks. However, many people like live-hared trails
because of the additional element of suspense wherein the
hares might be caught. In a Live Hare environment, the hares
are given a 15 minute head start and lay the trail in real
time. They try to provide a good trail while at the same
time avoid being caught by the hounds. If caught, the hare
might briefly loose his/her pants, get flour thrown at them,
or sit on a block of ice and the catcher might become a
co-hare from that point.
This guide pertains to both Live and Dead haring.
In the few instances where a major difference in the format
exists it is labeled Live Hare :
Probably the most difficult part of haring is arranging
a suitable place for the ON-IN (the end). This; however,
is not an insurmountable problem and should not dissuade
you from taking your turn as a hare. Some thoughts follow:
Plan where you want to end and then plan where you want
to start. There are more starting places than ending places.
Start fairly close (by auto) to the end. The fewer people
you have to ferry back to the start, the better. Hares have
gotten in trouble this way before. There should be enough
parking space at the start for everyone expected to show
up. Also, make sure that it's okay to park there. Hashers
seem to get pissed off when they get back from the ON-IN
and find that their cars have been towed. If there isn't
sufficient parking space and you simply must use this location,
you'll have to gather at another spot where parking is adequate
and carpool or shuttle to the start. This adds a degree
of complexity to the hash which isn't recommended under
normal circumstances. While it might be warm enough to have
a winter ON-IN outdoors, it's by no means guaranteed that
the weather will cooperate. Therefore, you should plan arranging
an indoor ON-IN site from mid-October through mid-April.
If ending the hash at a public establishment (bar, tavern,
pub, etc.), coordinate with the owner (or manager) well
in advance. Ask for happy hour prices (lower if possible)
Ask about food (free munchies, menu items) Let the Beermeister
know that you won't need a keg. Let the bar management know
we will go through one(+) keg of beer during our stay and
that in addition to beer we'll need pitchers of water and
soft drinks for our designated drivers (they just might
provide complimentary soft drinks). Get approval for an
area to do hash business. Using a tarp to cover the floor
during down-downs is sometimes a wise move.
Point out that we are a solemn, serious bunch that is never
loud, rambunctious, or lewd. (And lawyers go to heaven.)
Theme hashes.
While not required, themed hashes can be fun. Some traditional
theme hashes include: Mardi Gras, Red Dress, and Jingle
Balls. For your hash, try to come up with something new
and appropriate. Some examples: have hashers put on clothing
left at checks, hide stuff around checks (scavenger hunt),
well you get the idea, use your imagination. Caveat: If
you encourage hashers to wear costumes then take them through
costume shredding shiggy, they will revolt. Best costume
hashes are in high visibility public areas. Birthdays. Let's
be frank, birthdays are not all that unusual, everyone has
one once a year. Therefore, you might want to consider a
theme other than a celebration of yourself. Be sure to explain
what's expected of the hounds at the chalk talk, or in the
publicity if it entails costuming. Use the checklist for
hares to make sure that you have all the bases covered.
Coordination
Let the Beermeister know what kind of beer support you'll
need. If you plan on having a beer check and the end is
in your back yard, the beer requirement for him is far different
than if there's no beer check and the end is at a public
establishment. It's the hare's responsibility to contact
the Beermeister, preferably a few weeks before the hash
but certainly not later than one week before the hash. He'll
need to know whether you need a keg (and where it should
be delivered) and whether or not there'll be a beer check.
Please be considerate of the Beermeister. He's got the worst
(but most important) job in the hash. Don't force him to
chase you down to find out what your beer needs are. If
the ON-IN is at a bar, inform the Hash Cash at the start
of the hash to arrange transfer of funds to pay for beer
at the bar. You can swap dates with another hare but you
must let the Hare Raiser know. This is not to obtain permission,
but simply to keep the attending confusion to the minimum.
Let the On-Sec or hare raiser know where the hash ends before
the hash begins. They’ll place the ON-IN information
on the ground after the hash is well underway. This allows
people who become lost on trail and those who miss the start
to be able to find everyone at the ON-IN.
Money Matters
Note: Capitalized, the term Hash Cash refers to the person
who manages the financial resources of the hash. When written
in lower case, hash cash represents the actual financial
resources (i.e., the money). It's important that hares understand
the use of hash cash and not unknowingly undertake expenditures
which are not reimbursable. Specific guidelines follow:
The Hash Cash collects $5.00 from each hasher per hash,
with the exception that virgins (first time hashers) and
hares do not pay. The reason hares do not pay is that they
encounter expenses which hounds do not. Such expenses include:
flour, chalk, and flyer creation/reproduction. So please
do not seek special reimbursement for these incidental expences.
For each hash that does not end at a public establishment,
the Hash Cash will fully reimburse the Beermeister for one
keg of beer, the amount of canned beer consumed at the beer
checks, plus soft drinks and ice. Any remaining money (up
the the $4.00 per paid hasher level) can be used to pay
for munchies (chips and dips and the like). For hashes which
end at a public establishment, the Hash Cash will provide
the hare $4.00 per person who actually paid. Example: There
are 48 people at the hash including 5 virgins and 3 hares.
The Hash Cash will provide the hares $160 (40 paid hashers
times $4) to spend at the bar. The hash will not pay for
unlimited beer. It is up to the hare to negotiate reasonable
prices and to make financial settlement with the establishment.
Please don't forget to figure in the serving staff's gratuity.
Once the hash cash is exhausted, the hares can buy additional
beer at their personal expense, or "pass the hat"
for donations to keep the beer flowing. If you have questions,
contact the Hash Cash.
Publicity
It's a good idea to create a flyer and and pass out copies
at the hash immediately preceding yours. You can be creative
as you wish with the design of the flyer as long as the
elements essential information are included. Please include:
WHAT: Hash #
WHEN: (Saturday, Month, Day, Year, time)
WHERE:
HARES:
THEME: (If any)
TRAIL: Length: xxxxxxx, Difficulty: xxxxxxx
DOG FRIENDLY: Yes/No
ON-BEFORE: (Optional drinking spot prior to the hash)
BRING: $5.00, a whistle, and a shagbag
DIRECTIONS:
Always send this information as soon as you have figured
out to the Hare Raiser or the On-Sec! The sooner, the better,
because we, the hash, collectively, are not that smart!
Planning the Trail
Scout your trail early and often. This means actually running
and/or walking the trail several times to get a good feel
of its viability in terms of length, difficulty (shiggy),
and opportunities for pleasant surprises. You can't scout
a good trail from a car or off a topographic map, but both
can be useful support items. Trail should normally be in
the 3 to 5 mile range but certainly never more than 10 miles
or so. Evaluate your trail in terms of length and rate it
in difficulty as indicated below. Length Description Difficulty
Description; 3-4 miles Short Little or no shiggy, flat or
only a few small hills; Easy 4-5 miles Medium Some shiggy,
some hills; Moderate 5-7 miles long much shiggy, much vertical
work and/or high altitude Difficult; Over 7 miles: Ball
Buster
Examples: Trail is: Medium – Difficult,
or Ball Buster - Easy
Once you've evaluated the trail, use the descriptions above
for use in the publicity campaign for your hash. This is
a simple courtesy to give the hounds some idea of what they're
up against and can serve to head off later complaints about
the trail. Plan for a shag vehicle to get baggage to the
end and on cold (or rainy) days, to the beer check. If you
need help, enlist the assistance of an auto hasher. Don't
cross private land without permission. Safety:
Remember that not everyone is a rock climber. Avoid the
truly dangerous stuff, or at least give us an easy way around
if needed. Turkey trails are supposed to be easy, not just
easier. Use trails (even deer trails) to avoid damage to
slopes, etc. Include a beer check or regroup to permit the
less athletic (and the lost) time to catch up to the pack.
Beer check:
Plan the logistics of the beer check carefully. You'll need
to get the beer there before the FRBs arrive and clean up
the area after everyone leaves. It should be a place where
the hashers can enjoy a beer without getting harassed. Avoid
places where a group of 40-50 people drinking will draw
undue attention. Out of sight under a bridge usually works
fairly well. You can also stash the beer, in a cooler or
whatever (i.e., an unmanned beer check). If you do this,
please leave a trash bag for the empties and don't forget
to return and pick it up after the hash.Water: Always have
sufficient drinking water available at the beer check. While
it's an individual responsibility to prevent one's own dehydration
(that is to carry a water bottle on trail), there should
be little or no extra effort to provide water at the beer
check. Hashers will use this water to both drink and to
refill their water bottles. Many people prefer water on
the trail and defer their beer drinking until the ON-IN.
Others will enjoy a drink of water and a brew. If you say
it's a dog friendly trail, you should provide enough water
for both people and dogs. If you provide water in bulk,
also provide a means for people and animals to drink it.
This mean plastic or paper cups. Live Hare : In the opinion
of some, a beer check on a live hared trail is considered
an unethical means to avoid getting caught. Nevertheless,
it is a perfectly acceptable tactic in the hash. As long
as you, the hare is at a beer check, you can not be snared.
And you can request a 15 min head start from the FRB as
well. Again, If you need help, enlist the assistance of
a auto hasher. Be creative. You're not catering to any special
interest group, especially the competitive runners. Don't'
use the hash to demonstrate your superb physical fitness.
The point of the hash is for both hares and hounds to have
fun. Dogs: While the Hash certainly isn't a kennel club,
a few hashers want to bring their pets to the hash. This
practice is neither encouraged nor discouraged. Therefore,
it's the hare's responsibility to assess the trail and ON-IN
as to whether or not it's "dog friendly" and include
the information in the publicity release. Normally, an ON-IN
at a public establishment is unsuitable for dogs and there
are certain trail characteristics make the presence of dogs
impractical (e.g., trails which go through structures such
as malls and hotels, water crossings more than knee deep,
or transport in the manner of busses or U-Haul vans). Logistics:
Hash day logistics are quite frankly a pain in the ass,
but essential to a successful event. The hare has many logistical
responsibilities which if not carefully planned for can
detract from the ability to lay the trail or result in delays
and dry spells at the ON-IN. That the shag wagon, beer check,
ice, keg, etc. are the responsibility of the hare, it does
not mean that the hare must do everything him/herself. It
is perfectly acceptable to enlist the assistance of others
to take care of logistical matters. Assistants can come
in the form of auto hashers, or even non-hashers, it really
doesn't matter. What does matter is that the beer is flowing
at the ON-IN when the Front Running Bastards (FRBs) arrive
and that the shag wagon is nearby and accessible. Three
important things to not to loose sight of: Actual weather
conditions on the day of your hash can wreck havoc with
the best laid plans. Once the hash starts, it's no longer
in your control. Every hare has a trail that will not work.
Laying the Trail
Before laying the trail, make sure that both you and your
hare partner(s) are all using the same marking conventions.
Otherwise you just may confuse the hounds, get them lost
and into an ugly mood. See the associated Guide to Trail
Marks. Don't screw with the pack by making the trail difficult
to find; screw with the pack by where the trail goes. It's
far better to lay a trail that's easy to find and a son
of a bitch to traverse, than vice-versa. Assigning segments
of the trail to different hares to lay independently is
a sure recipe for disaster. The only guaranteed way to ensure
a coherent trail is for all hares to lay the trail together.
Trail Marks:
Use lots of flour. Use lots of flour. This can't be emphasized
enough. Ideally, hounds should be able to see the next mark
from the last. Hash marks should be placed about 25 yards
or so apart. Marks should never be more than 50 yards apart
When bushwhacking, make marks very close together. Consider
alternate marking when bushwhacking, such as surveyor/engineer
tape or toilet paper. Mark your trail with environmentally
friendly substances. That means no spray paint and remember
that after the hash you must remove anything you used that
the rain won't easily eradicate (e.g., surveyor/engineer
tape). Sidewalk chalk is great, but only when it isn't raining.
Don't get too clever with your marking medium. Animals just
might find certain things irresistible (like Froot Loops)
and eat your marks. Also see the associated Guide to Hash
Marks. If you change direction, mark the change with either
a check or a hare arrow. There is no requirement to lay
false trails from a check, but there must be a true trail.
End your false trails with a false trail mark, especially
for pre-laid trails where a "blow job" or “YBF”
(false trail without a false trail mark) make little sense.
A “Blow Job” is two or so hash marks and NO
false trail marks. Three flour marks after a check means
true trail. After three hash marks it is not Kosher to lay
a false trail mark unless you really wish to YBF the pack
and fear their wrath. A check (which may include false trails)
on the other hand is quite appropriate. Checks keep packs
together and Front Running Bastards (FRBs) confused. Ideally,
the Dead Fu*king Last (DFLs) should reach the beer-check
& On-In within 5 minutes or so of the FRB's. If the
slower hashers say the hash was a cake-walk while the FRB's
ran their ass off, you've done a great job. On the other
hand, too many checks can be quite annoying. In this matter,
trail laying is more of an art than a science. Unfortunately,
you it can only learn the proper balance from experience,
both as hare and hound.
Inclement weather tips:
Rain: Lay your hash marks in larger than normal piles. Avoid
gutters where flour is sure to get washed away.
Try and find places to lay it where it won't get wet, if
possible. Flour will stay around better if you lay it in
clumps rather than just throwing it on the ground. If you
squeeze the clump and set it down it will hold together
better. In rain, flour sticks to wood (trees, fences) better
than grass, smooth surfaces or sidewalks. You really need
to use a lot of flour on a wet hash because some your marks
are going to get washed away no matter how good of job you
do laying it. Be extra careful when laying critical marks
(checks, arrows, etc.) because hounds have a hell of a time
figuring out what to do in the absence of trail marks. Don't
bother with chalk as it always gets washed away in the rain.
If rains after you've laid your trail, you really should
recheck it before the hash starts. Snow:
Color your flour. Carpenter's snap line powered chalk works
well, just be sure to use enough chalk to achieve a distinctly
bold color. Lightly colored flour tends to blend with the
snow, making hash marks difficult, if not impossible to
see. Hashing in deep snow takes lots of physical effort
and your trail should take this fact into account and not
be too long. If there's a blizzard and the Governor has
declared an emergency and it's illegal to drive on any public
street, there will be no hash.
Live Hare:
Not getting caught is a matter of cleverness (and luck),
not speed. Don't double back; you're bound to run into a
short cutting bastard (SCB). Don't worry TOO much about
blow jobs or YBF’s. Do everything you can to screw
up the SCBs. Most live hares are caught by SCBs, not from
FRBs. Screw the SCBs.
Starting the Hash
Give a chalk talk before the hash. This is to aquatint the
new boots with hashing in general and to apprise the old
hands of the new twists you've introduced to confound them
on the trail. Point out the direction of the trail if the
pack can't find it themselves in short order. Live Hare:
Make it clear that you get a 15-minute head start. Enlist
a known auto hasher as co-conspirator. (S)he can: Act as
the "honest broker" timkeeper.
Give the chalk talk (write out the briefing for them). Lead
in singing Father Abraham (anything to asist in providing
your full 15 minute headstart) Drive the shag vehicle Facilitate
the beer check, if there is one. Just be sure to give your
assistant good directions.
The ON-IN
Hare responsibilities include:
Getting the shag vehicle to the ON-IN site. All logistics
involved with beer, soft drinks, ice, water, munchies, etc.
Dealing with the property owner (both public establishment
and private property) in all matters financial and diplomatic.
In public establishments setting aside sufficient beer for
the down-downs. Returning people to the start to retrieve
their cars. Cleaning up the ON-IN venue after the festivities.
Establishing a Lost & Found for the inevitable misplaced
items of personal property. Hare responsibilities do not
include the actual conduct of hash business. This is the
sole purview of the Hash Mismanagement.
Parting Words
Don't worry about trying to lay the perfect trail - there
really isn't such thing. Something unforeseen will normally,
generally, usually go wrong. Just try your best and your
hash will be a success. Accept your down-down with humility.
And don't forget to coordinate with the Beermeister!